My mother has been calling a lot lately. I know she is bored and has nothing to do there in the sticks, but I'm still basically keeping her at arm's length. It seems that the things my sister "revealed" about me were actually about my step-brother, some of it things my mother already knew. I'm not sure if she misunderstood my sister, my sister was using whatever "weapon" she thought she could get her hand on or my sister felt she had the facts straight. Whatever the factor, I do know my sister did it as a result of my mother saying she was proud I was finishing my Masters degree. Oh, well.
Onward and upward, toward something not so sobering. We have a couple of new Grove ladies due to the Collyridian article, which is nice. I'm turning the Yahoo group into a newsletter format, as I had already done with the one for SoS. I need to work on both, because it's already almost the end of the month.
I started rereading The Mystic Heart by Wayne Teasdale last night. I'd never heard of interspirituality as a term before 2007, though the concept was one in the back of my mind previously. I thought it was a wonderful book, so I decided to read it again to refresh my brain. It's unfortunate we don't have more books like it, but perhaps in the future we will. I think we're still far away from the days when such books won't need to be on the shelves, when interspirituality is so common a practice that it doesn't require reading material. If in fact there is ever a time when we don't need reading material on a topic, no matter how innate the practice. But then, that's the librarian in me. Inspiritual Librarian? Not a known title....yet.
Sanctity of Shadows Newsletter
May 1, 2009
May 1st marks the beginning of the brightest time of the year, but here at
SoS I am still trying to keep a balance by providing information on the dark
side of the Craft, and related issues. My hope is that the next issue will be
longer, this initial one cut a bit short due to my current housing situation (my
condo was flooded, so I've been living in hotels for a week now).
Recipe Corner
It is traditional to make honey cakes for May 1st, but in response to
complaints of them commonly being too dry, I was able to locate this lovely
recipe. The source is Jewish in origin, but the pomegranate makes a nice
addition with its connection to Demeter, and of course the honey is connected to
Demeter, the Virgin Mary, and Aphrodite.
Honeyed Cigars with Date-Pomegranate Filling
(pareve)
Pastry:
* About 12 sheets of frozen phyllo, plus several extra to allow for tearing
* 1/2 cup light, fragrant honey
* 1/2 cup avocado, sunflower, walnut or other mild oil
* 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
Filling:
* 1 1/2 cups (tightly packed) Medjool or other soft, moist dates, pitted and
coarsely chopped
* 3 Tbsp. avocado, sunflower, walnut or other mild oil
* 1 Tbsp. pomegranate molasses
* 1 Tbsp. hot water
* 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
* 1 pinch of salt
* 1 cup walnuts, lightly toasted and coarsely chopped, plus extra for
sprinkling
* Additional honey to brush on after baking
1. Thaw phyllo sheets slowly in the refrigerator overnight. Remove the
unopened package from the refrigerator two hours before you begin the recipe to
allow sheets to come to room temperature.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a large cookie sheet with parchment. In
a small saucepan, warm 1/4 cup honey. Slowly add 1/4 cup oil, stirring until
well incorporated. Stir in cinnamon. Remove pan from heat.
3. Prepare the filling. In a food processor fitted with a steel blade, blend
dates, oil, pomegranate molasses, hot water, cinnamon, and salt to a smooth
paste. Add walnuts, and pulse until just combined. Transfer to a bowl.
4. Remove phyllo sheets from the package and carefully unroll them on a damp
kitchen towel. Using kitchen scissors or a sharp knife, cut the stack of sheets
in half from short end to short end, forming rectangles approximately 6"x17"
(exact size will depend on brand of phyllo used). Immediately cover the cut
phyllo sheets with a large piece of plastic wrap and another damp towel to
prevent them from drying out.
5. Work with one sheet at a time, keeping the rest covered with the plastic
wrap and a towel. Remove one sheet from the stack and brush it lightly and
quickly with the honey-oil mixture. Carefully fold the sheet in half, bringing
the short ends together and pressing down gently. Brush the new surface, now
exposed, with the honey-oil. Scoop a heaping tablespoon of the filling, roll it
into a little sausage, and place it along the short bottom edge of the phyllo,
leaving a one-inch border at the sides. Fold the bottom edge toward the center
so that it just covers the filling, then fold the sides in, so the filling won't
ooze out. Brush the new phyllo surface that is exposed with more honey-oil, and
continue to roll, jelly-roll fashion, brushing each new, dry phyllo surface with
more honey-oil as you go.
6. Brush the finished cigar lightly over all surfaces with the honey-oil and
place seam-side down on the prepared cookie sheet. Sprinkle lightly with chopped
walnuts. Keep the cookie sheet lightly covered with plastic wrap as you work.
Continue making cigars with more phyllo and filling, stirring the honey-oil
mixture when necessary if it separates. (You can refrigerate the unbaked cigars
at this point, well wrapped, up to one day before baking.)
7. Bake the cigars for about 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. While
still hot, brush them very generously with honey. Let cool. Serve as is or cut
each cigar on the diagonal into thirds.
Recipe by Jayne Cohen
Deities
For each issue I'd like to include deities relevant to the months, and
holidays that take place during them. As it is to be expected for May, most of
them are related to fertility and growth/wildness. Of course, May is also the
month of Mother's Day, and in the Netherlands they celebrate Remembrance of the
Dead on May 4th. Labor Day takes place on May 1st in many countries worldwide.
Under the Ancien Regime of France (14th-18th centuries), it was common to plant
a tree in honor of someone on May 1st.
Belenos-Celtic god of solar energy (protection, healing, fertility,
regeneration)
Maia-Roman goddess of fertility
Roman Catholic-St. Joseph the Worker
Mary-goddess of motherhood and virgin independence
Flora-Roman goddess of flowers
Pan-Greek god of shepherds and flocks, of mountain wilds, hunting
Cernunnos-Celtic god of horned male animals, fertility
Demeter-Greek goddess of grain, nourishing youth
Dionysus/Bacchus-Greek god of wine, ritual madness and ecstasy
Pusan-Vedic god of plant life and agriculture
Indra-Vedic god of thunder and rain
Tlaloc-Aztec god of rain, fertility
Zeus/Jupiter-Greek/Roman god of rain, lightning, thunder
Gardening
Now is the time when many Northern Hemisphere gardeners begin to go out into
their yards, and start planting. Everyone has their own plant preferences and
methods for the getting the best out of their garden, but consider adapting one
of these rituals for your own use, and see how your garden responds.
Beltane, although Celtic in origin and based on solar energy, is also about
planting and generating life. In the areas of the world where it was first
celebrated, Scotland and Ireland, it was a time for lighting need fires, for
dancing around the maypole as part of fertility rites, and for ensuring the soil
was enriched for the plants to be grown within it. Integrating Shadow themes
into this holiday, isn't as hard as it may sound however, and here are some
methods from around the world...
Address the dead to bless the seeds and ask for a good harvest, invoking
ancestors on the night before sowing, planting near the cemetery, spreading
ashes on the field-Congo
Prayer for a good harvest later in the year, place a ghost reed in the soil and
pour millet into the ground. No fighting is permitted the day of the
ritual.-Saisiyat
At the end of the day, plant a yam tuber near a tree stump. A bamboo water
vessel and a bamboo with one end split into two are placed next to where the
tuber is planted. The bamboo is oriented toward Ursa Major, and a second vessel
is used to pour water into the bamboo one. The water that remains in the
secondary vessel is then poured over the men and women present. A prayer is
spoken to the crop in question (in their case, rice).
-Palokhi Karen
Costumed dancers plant crop in a sacred field, and perform a dance dedicated to
the harvest deity, then go on to plant seedlings in the same field.-Shinto
Poles brought to the place of planting, each one representing a god connected to
cultivation. Heads or other bones of ancestors brought to the site, painted red,
and adorned with feathers. Stone statues put in the fields for the long term in
order to watch over the crops. Sacred meal eaten afterward, and no strangers
allowed to approach the crop during its growing period.-Maori
Prayers, incantations, and rituals honoring Inanna and Dumuzi, for abundance and
potency. Most of these would involve apples or dates, both seen as metaphors for
Dumuzi himself, sometimes as a farmer. Suitable to sing from portions of the
Sumerian Sacred Marriage ritual.-Mesopotamian
Folklore
Many of us turn to folklore and archetypes when we express ourselves, either
verbally, in written form or in ritual and spells. But what are the mechanics of
folklore, and from where do we get our tools with which to build? This month
we're looking to Propp's Thirty-One Functions of a Folktale. His is the most
comprehensive list on the topic of why folktales exist, and what they have in
common on a global scale.
Preparatory Section:
l. One of the members of a family absents himself from home.
2. An interdiction (ban) is addressed to the hero.
3. The interdiction is violated. (The villain usually enters the story here.)
4. The villain makes an attempt at reconnaissance.
5. The villain receives information about his victim. (The villain gets an
answer.)
6. The villain attempts to deceive his victim by using persuasion, magic, or
deception.
7. The victim submits to deception and thereby unwittingly helps his enemy.
(Hero sleeps.)
Villainy / Lack (Plot set in motion):
8. The villain causes harm or injury to a member of a family.
8a. One member of a family either lacks something or desires to have something.
9. Misfortune or lack is made known: the hero is approached with a request or
command; he is allowed to go or he is dispatched.
10. The seeker (hero) agrees to or decides upon counteractions.
11. The hero leaves home.
12. The hero is tested, interrogated, attacked, etc. which prepares the way for
his receiving either a magical agent or helper. (The donor usually enters the
story here.)
13. The hero reacts to the actions of the future donor.
14. The hero acquires the use of a magical agent.
15. The hero is transferred, delivered, or led to the whereabouts of an object
of search.
Path A: Struggle and Victory over Villain; End of Lack and Return:
16. The hero and villain join in direct combat.
17. The hero is branded.
18. The villain is defeated.
19. The initial misfortune or lack is liquidated.
20. The hero returns.
21. The hero is pursued.
22. The hero is rescued from pursuit.
Path B: Unrecognized Arrival, Task, Recognition, Punishment, Wedding:
23. The hero, unrecognized, arrived home or in another country.
24. A false hero presents unfounded claims.
25. A difficult task is proposed to the hero. (Trial by drink, fire, riddle,
test of strength.)
26. The task is resolved or accomplished.
27. The hero is recognized, often by a mark or an object.
28. The false hero or villain is exposed and / or punished.
29. The hero is given a new appearance.
30. The villain is pursued.
31. The hero is married and ascends the throne.
Dramatis personae: (seven roles which any character may assume in the story)
1. the Villain, who struggles with the hero;
2. the Donor, who prepares and/or provides hero with magical agent;
3. the Helper, who assists, rescues, solves and/or transfigures the hero;
4. the Princess, a sought-for person (and/or her father) who exists as goal and
often recognizes and marries hero and/or punishes villain;
5. the Dispatcher, who sends the hero off;
6. the Hero, who departs on a search (seeker-hero), reacts to the donor and weds
at end;
7. the False Hero, who claims to be the hero, often seeking and reacting like a
real hero.
Divination
May is a perfect month for using flowers in divination. If you want a simple
way to get a "yes" or "no" answer, draw a circle or form one on the ground with
flower petals, then divide that down the middle with the same method. Stepping
about four feet away, toss whole flowers or the remaining stems toward the
circle, and see which side of the divide your pieces land in while you think of
your question. The same thing could be done with seeds, especially from the
pomegranate.
For a slightly more complex method, form your circle, and use various species
of flowers for positive and negative responses. The color of the flower and
where it lands dictates the nature of your answer.
Alternatively, walk in a garden, keeping on the path with your eyes closed.
Stop when it feels like you should, and use a Victorian Flower Meanings table to
explain the flowers that are directly in front of you. The first flower
indicates the near future, and so on.
Another easy method of divining is to split open your favorite seeded fruit,
and read the seeds. The number is important, as are the sizes, and these should
be taken into consideration as you make your query. The color can be key as
well, a paler inside of the fruit indicating sickness or other low points to
come. The darker it becomes toward the middle of the fruit, and the faster the
transition, the sooner prosperous health and well-being will take place.
Causes
In keeping with our planting and growth theme, the causes in our list this
time are focused on plants, their uses, and other related topics.
http://www.therainforestsite.com Click each day to save valuable rainforest
land. No purchase necessary, corporate sponsors foot the bill, but they do have
great merchandise if you do choose to shop.
http://www.freerice.com/index.php Feed the hungry by playing word games. It's
also great for expanding your vocabulary.
http://www.plantlife.org.uk/ Wild plant conservation charity.
http://www.cabk.org.uk/ Promote and further the craft of beekeeping.
Ritual
As a solar holiday, Beltane may seem outside the boundaries of shadow ritual
and magick, but keep in mind that fire plays a major part in this holiday as
well. This ritual takes that into account, and calls on the forces deep within
the earth to honor them.
Tools:
cauldron or other small pot (suitable for fire)
lighter or matches
soil
flower petals
incense (flowery or fiery)
Sprinkle a mixture of soil and flower petals into the cauldron until you have
a layer that is about two inches thick, enough to support the weight of the
incense whether in stick form or as a cone. Ignite the incense, and close your
eyes. Concentrate, and imagine the flowers becoming revitalized by the soil or
taken up in the hands of your chosen deity.
(My recently posted article on The Witches' Voice)
As religion seems once again to be at a turning point, a time of very appreciable change, and a remarkable amount of attention is being focused on interspiritual communication, it is time for the Collyridians to make themselves known. We’ve been ever-present, and more than one Pagan author has mentioned how their grandmother or mother made Mary an integral part of their spiritual practice amidst the dictates of their Christian faith. To this day, her role in Catholicism and even some Protestant paths is open for debate, for to many adherents she is Queen of Heaven, the Eternal Virgin, and Mother of All.
This is not meant to be a comprehensive essay on what it means to be a Collyridian (or Philomarianite as we are sometimes called) , but simply an introduction to our beautiful and long-forgotten ways, which may be noted to be not so very different from those in Pagan households. This is true to such an extent that many of us identify as Pagan or ChristoPagan because we are not seen by the Christian community as anything but heretics, or at the least, misguided individuals who need to remember why it’s called the Christian church.
For this reason, I refer to us here as the Ladies in Gray, the majority of our known “members” being female (although not exclusively) . We’re in the liminal space between the Pagan and the Christian worlds, and in more than one way, although as with Pagan sects (Wiccan, Asatru Reconstructionist, etc) and Christian denominations (Catholic, Methodist, Church of Christ) , we each have our own methods of carrying out our beliefs. Some of us even honor deities in these Pagan paths, myself included, making this a very definite alternative path.
No doubt one of the first things that springs to mind, is the question of why Mary is so important? By all accounts, Jesus was the important one in the stories we’ve managed to accumulate, right? I would argue it depends on whom you ask.
In the early stages of the Christian church, it was a motley assortment of hundreds of individual sects, all with their own viewpoints about how things should be done. One of the few things most of them did agree on was the place of women in the church, which at the time, was the same as the place men had in it. They were teachers and leaders, and it took several centuries for that to “change”. I put the word into quotes, because in the background was always the Mother, and her teachers, even if they did not have formal titles.
Following in her footsteps became the approved fashion of behavior, and many women in particular held onto her image as the consummate model for how they should lead their lives. This standard is still held by women all over the world, who look upon her face, and receive serenity in knowing they are holding true to her symbol of not just motherhood, but also as a force of strength during times of extreme adversity.
For in so much as some may wish that women would forget this longing, it is one that has never completely gone away. What is more, it seems to be growing as time goes on.
Accordingly, we are finding one another, and the time is coming when we may very well be a collective group as we were before. Yes, in AD 375 ours was an actual Arabic sect, described by Epiphanius of Salamis in his treatise on heresy entitled the Panarion. While some are skeptical that ever a “cult” existed by this name, because Epihphanius was the sole writer on the topic, others are just as certain that it did, but was suppressed into extinction by the 6th century. And yet, here we are.
To date, every Collyridian I have encountered includes liturgy (whether adapted or self-written) in their spiritual practice, and keeps a defined set of holidays based on those aspects of Mary that most closely speak to them. For my own part, I celebrate twenty-two holidays, though these include the solstices and the equinoxes. The month of May is especially important, the entire month being devoted to Mary, and it is likely not just simple coincidence that the month is named for the Roman goddess of Motherhood and Reverence (Maia or Maiesta) .
This brings me to the topic of what Collyridians share in common with our Pagan brothers and sisters, whether we integrate other Pagan deities into our spirituality or not. The beliefs shared are many, and understanding this is vital to bridging the gap between how we are viewed by those in the Pagan community, and the reality of our practices.
Like so many other goddess-oriented religions, ours includes offerings in its practice, and indeed our very name means “cake eaters” due to the cake and bread offerings made to Mary in those days. Some consider honey to be a suitable component, considering it is the product of bees, and they have long symbolized Mary in her Virginal state. In addition, as Sue Monkk discovered while researching for her novel The Secret Life of Bees, Mary is sometimes referred to as a beehive. Of course, she is not the only goddess to have associations with bees, and in fact arguably the greatest Pagan mother of all is similarly inclined, the Hellenic deity Demeter sharing this association.
Bees are not the only symbol she shares with Pagan deities, and the dove is probably the better known animal association. When the female entity Shekinah was eliminated from the belief system of the Judaic faith, the Holy Ghost was integrated in, its symbol becoming the dove.
Many hold that Mary is the Holy Ghost in the known Trinity as Christians practice, and the dove is therefore her symbol, one that is also indicative of Aphrodite. As the Stella Maris, or Star of the Sea, Mary also shares the association with Aphrodite of being the Goddess of the Oceans. Indeed, Aphrodite is sometimes referred to as Mari, and unfortunately when Christianity became popular, many of Aphrodite’s temples were either torn down to erect ones for Mary or simply overtaken for the same reason.
Perhaps more than any other, Mary is associated with the Goddess Isis, especially in her form as the Black Madonna. Well documented is the borrowing of the posture of Isis with the infant Horus in Egyptian statuary that was used by Christians to represent Mary with the infant Jesus in their own depictions. These representations are numerous, and can be found throughout Europe, though as China Galland discovered on her pilgrimage, no one can truly say why the statues are dark.
Some say it is the result of fire, others that it is their age (despite the fact some were clearly made from dark wood) , and still others feel they are blackish in shade because they represent the Deep Mother, or the Cave Mother, the Eternal Womb of the Earth as it were.
As with Aphrodite, when the Cult of Isis finally ended, temples were adapted for Christian use by Mary’s followers. This did not end the borrowing, however, and Mary owes at least two of her titles to Isis: Queen of Heaven, and Mother of the World.
Sadly, I must confess that even some Pagans are unwilling to address the issue of these associations, feeling that it allows Christianity to encroach too completely on hard-won Pagan freedoms. While I can see their point of view, such behavior means that a division will remain between the two.
Like Pagans and Christians, the majority of Collyridians have shrines and altars as an important part of our spirituality. The images we choose are as varied as our personalities, but for my own part, I combine the two areas and include a small statue of a Black Madonna and a donkey that was the single surviving piece from a childhood nativity scene.
My Pagan statuary is also included on this shrine/altar, and when I work magick it is on this surface that it takes place. I keep my stones here, my candles, and my offering bowl that also acts as a receptacle of ash when I burn paper scraps of intention or perform banishings.
There are those that would denounce this cross-use of materials, but I would then remind them of the Hedge Witch that uses her knife to chop vegetables in the kitchen, not just to perform magick in the circle. In my workplace it isn’t suitable to include a full-fledged shrine, but I have a small card with the Hail Mary on the back of it, the image being of Mary sitting down, her hands spread in invitation, and twelve stars (the apostles/number of signs in the zodiac) encircling her head.
Regarding how Collyridians view the virginity matter, this also varies with the individual. I have met sisters and brothers that were staunchly insistent that Mary was a virgin, and remained one, after the birth of her son.
Others have decided that she may have been a virgin prior, but that his passing from her body effectively ended this state, and that after he was born she acted as a wife in all ways to her husband. I’m of the school of thought that Mary was a Virgin in the sense it was used by the civilizations that pre-dated/were concurrent with early Christianity, and that the term was meant to imply she is independent.
In the Christian mythos, she fulfilled the place ordinarily held by such female deities as a self-sustaining entity without need to rely on a man, which is no doubt why Joseph suddenly falls out of the picture in the New Testament. He had his role in order to make the situation more ethical by Christian standards, but then was unnecessary as Mary and Jesus fill their own roles as Maiden/Mother/Crone and the Sun of God/Self.
As the interspirituality movement gains momentum, I hope to see more Collyridians revealing themselves to those of us that are already present as such in the community or newcomers awakening to their spirituality and seeing ours as a viable form of religious belief that speaks to them.
We have the chance to work toward ending spiritually harmful situations by providing a bridge between the two communities, to aid in healing old wounds created by oppressive dogma, and to provide a spiritual home for those that have too long felt like outsiders.
Footnotes:
Begg, Ean. (1997) . The Cult of the Black Virgin. New York, NY: Penguin Classics.
Epiphanius of Salamis. (375) . Panarion (or Against Heresies) .
Panarion Galland, China. (1990) . Longing for Darkness: Tara and the Black Madonna.
New York, NY: Viking Press/Penguin Group.
Monkk, Sue. (2002) . The Secret Life of Bees. New York, NY: Penguin Group.
For a few days now fire has been raging only a few miles away from my condo. Yes, the condo I only just got to move back into because of the flood incident. Worry and trying to get my place back into shape hasn't left much time, at least while I'm awake, to think about spiritual matters.
Still, two nights before the fire broke out a had a larger-than-life style dream about a massive storm system sweeping through the library where I happened to work in the dream. It caused six or seven tornadoes to head through the town where the library was built, and then the gray clouds sweeping through obscured everything but the tornadoes and the bolts of lightning striking the ground. People were running for their lives in the library, but only the elite employees were allowed to go into the underground bunkers that I found out existed beneath the library. I spent the rest of the dream trying to round up friends and loved ones, but I only recall finding one or two, then I lost them. One was my best guy friend from high school and afterward, and the other was Alex. I don't remember how the dream ended.
The next day, and because I had been sharing the hotel TVs with Anna so I haven't been watching the news, I found out that the trend called "derecho" had been sweeping through the OK to GA areas of the South since the previous Friday. It is marked by the rapid spurning of multiple tornadoes and lightning storms. Needless to say, I was slightly taken aback by the realization.
Night-before-last I only remember dreaming about fire. But then, I had spent much of the evening watching flames eating at the hillsides by way of the camera on an helicopter flying above SB. In my dream, the flames were more like embers, but they were in my bed and I spent a lot of time trying to put them out. Last night, I don't remember dreaming about anything. I was just too tired I think, between the condo, the fires, and knowing I had two papers to write this weekend.
My mom called about my sister yesterday, but I let her know I was done with that relationship. It's been no relationship at all for years anyway, and when my sister does talk to us, all she does is lie. These things happen, and I am done.
When I got up this morning, it was to find out that my job place was closed due to the air conditions outside, and so was my daughter's school. Instead of returning to bed, I started watching about the fire on television, worked on cleaning up a bit more of the items that were taken out of the cabinets after the flood, going to the grocery store to buy donation items, dropping those off at the animal shelter, cleaning again, finishing one paper, adding eight pages to the next paper, visiting my neighbor repeatedly, feeding my daughter and the two girls visiting, letting the three of them plus the little boy that lives upstairs hang out in our place for two hours, and now finally, catching up here.
I'm tired.
Normally I don't celebrate May Day/Beltane. It is the beginning of the brightest part of the year, something I generally try to avoid. This year though, I have the spirit, but lack the energy. I've been taking my portable Mary shrine with me to each hotel, and setting up when in those that I can without her getting knocked off. She's accompanied by her little donkey, the dove stone, and my wisdom owl piece of hardened ash that reminds me of Athena.
This isn't a crisis of faith, unless it's meant in the sense that I still haven't emailed my mother, and she's going to start wondering why. She's glad we're talking, but I don't think of it that way. To me, it's just my defending my beliefs to someone that has no business knowing them. She wants respect, but it's hard for me to summon that up for someone that hasn't earned it. I'm not sure what I am supposed to be respecting her for, but if I ask, I'm fairly certain she will get that "tone". Giving me away at age 4? Not bothering to fight for me when she was well again? Forcing me to attend church and be baptized, when I made it clear I wasn't ready for the commitment? Not keeping a steady job once she was married again? Making me pay for all my necessities once I turned 15, so that I had to get a PT job to pay for things like shampoo? As it is, she wants me to move back, and has promised 2k if I do. If I move from here, but don't go back there, no funds.
Sobering, all of it, and right now I need it like I need another hole in my head. Still not able to move back into my condo. I'm tired of living out of my suitcase in hotel rooms, and not knowing if I am going to have time to finish my assignments. I work on them from my job, but that means a lot of interruptions. I'm tired.
I recently had the unfortunate experience that my sister decided to tell my mother that I am a pagan. Of course, this is not entirely true, and I was extremely angry that after sixteen years of keeping my spiritual life out of my family's attention, my sister decided to "out" me without saying anything to me first. We've not had much contact since reaching adulthood, because she doesn't return emails or answer her phone, making it that much worse.
Now, some of the ladies in the Grove told me to see this as an opportunity, and I tried. I really did. I answered my mother's questions succinctly, and waited to see what would happen. A few days later she finally responded, but her message was so garbled with her views on her past and my life with my grandmother, that it is almost impossible to formulate a response. Every time I try, and this may be wrong of me, but I don't want to have to explain to her. Her attitude that I am ignorant of the world and history irritates me, and I don't feel compelled to defend when I doubt she will understand. She's fine with the magick part, and adding Mary, but the opinion of Jesus as never having been a human being and the Hellenic deities-these things would not go over well. She seems to think it is paramount that she not tell my step-father, but it's not her business to tell either. Why can't she see this? Why can't they both just keep their mouths shut?
So here I am again, trying to see this as an opportunity. For a long time now I've known I was meant to do something, and by this, I mean something meaningful for the other Mary lovers. I wrote the article on Collyridianism, and hope to see it posted online in a month or so (which is how long it takes), but I know there is more.
When I was a child I wanted to be a priest. I was so upset when I was told that 1) I wasn't Catholic, and 2) I couldn't be a priest because I was female. Of course it was suggested that I could convert, and become a nun, but I was offended by the latter suggestion. I didn't want to be a nun. I knew enough about the religion to know that nuns weren't allowed to teach, that they were Brides of Christ, and subservient to the men. So that was my first experience with misogyny, although I would like to point out that I don't believe all men in the Church were misogynists, even after the creation of the hierarchy. There is enough evidence of men who saw women as esteemed for me to not fall into that trap, but the over arcing message is still pretty clear. Women don't rate as priests.
What to do? Well, for years I kept my mouth shut on the topic, because I was too young to do anything about it anyway. I studied, learning about other religions and their views on women. For the most part, I wasn't impressed. My mother was present when I bought a copy of Merlin Stone's When God Was a Woman. She was disapproving, and even mentioned that's how my step-brother got involved in Satanism. For the record, he's Wiccan, and finally came out to her last year about it.
When asked now, I try to make my path fit into a short title, but it's hard. Philomarianite Shadow Gnostic or Shadow Pagan is usually how I term it, and then wait for the staring that inevitably comes along with it. So, what does it mean?
1. Mary is the Goddess, the Eternal Mother, and Queen of Heaven. She is an eternal virgin, but I mean this in the Hellenic sense of the word, a woman that is independent. She does not need men, particularly after the birth of the dying God, her sun. She is the Triple Goddess, for we see in her in the Bible as having all the aspects of the Pagan Goddess. Maiden, Mother, and Crone. Even more is seen if one looks at Apocryphal books.
2. Jesus was the traditional Sun God. The NT tries very hard to make him the fulfillment of older prophecy, and in so doing, proclaims him as the Morning Star (a title he interestingly shares with Lucifer). He is also the Sun of God, which is why the apostles number twelve, not including the Magdalene. There are twelve signs in the zodiac, and the Magdalene is the Moon. She shares this with his Mother, i.e. the Eternal Mother. Jesus is born at what was traditionally Yule, a date he actually shares with a collection of Pagan deities (such as Mithras, Zoroaster, and Horus to name a few). After initiating his ministry at a very young age, he disappears. He isn't seen again until he reaches his adulthood, and dies as the sacrificial God a few years later. It is the cycle of death and rebirth common to Pagan myths, and the Christians created their own mythos with many Pagan elements as their base. In addition, this is why Joseph suddenly disappears from the picture. With Jesus as an adult, Joseph's presence is no longer necessary for the cycle to reach completion, and he just fades away.
3. I will not go so far as to say that every ancient religion was matriarchal, and that men then came along and "messed things up," but it does seem likely that the first religions (ones we have no knowledge of yet) were focused on worship of the divine feminine. Later, we see a gender power split in the Phoenician, Sumerian, and other earliest known civilizations. Of course, not everyone sees gender the same way, and I think that because Mary was my figure of Motherhood and femininity, Athena was my more masculine counterpart to that. At least, in regard to her place in warfare. But Athena's was also the realm of crafts, and I remind myself of this when it comes to my own magick working, which is a Craft as much as any other is. It takes study, skill, and frequent use in order to maintain or exceed each level. Since they are also both virgins, this is in keeping with what I believe was originally followed by most societies.
4. The family deities, being darker, are my balance. We converse and interact on a wide range of topics, but they're my advisers. They're the ones that pick my brain, and we deal with the heavy issues that come my way. If Mary is my figure of serenity, and Athena my figure of intellect, then Nyx, Thanatos, Eris, and the rest of the family are my feelings. They're the embodiments of my emotions, the ones I don't possess myself, just as they were for the Greeks. Nyx, as the mother, is the leader. She had a mate when she desired him, but was also a virgin in her standing alone. The children answer to her, and so we're back to the autonomous feminine figure of authority.
So where does that lead me? Three figures of the divine as preeminent, with any male deities being answerable to these female leaders.
Does this mean I think all men should be answerable to women? No, not at all. I also don't think that just because we all start out as female, women are the superior of the two.
Does this mean I think men should be excluded from religions with these women figures as supreme? No, although I do believe divisions should be made for purposes of work, religious practices, etc. i.e. I think there should be some religious orders that are gender differentiated, because there are some things women will not say in front of men, and vice versa. I don't, however, believe they should all be that way. There should be various options available, and the person decides where they fit into the scheme. This also allows for those that are transgendered or gender neutral to participate in ways just as meaningful as the individuals that identify as male or female.
I suggested the possibility of the ladies in the Grove writing a book together on our various paths, ourselves, our collaborative efforts, and then a grimoire with our spells, rituals, etc. We come from very different backgrounds, live all over the globe, and enjoy doing very different things during our off time, but we have quite a nice space, and I think others could benefit from seeing this. So far, every collaborative book effort I have seen has been from the standpoint of people in the same coven or at least practicing the same religion or following the same pantheon. This would be entirely new. I think that when many people begin learning about interspirituality, they have a knee jerk reaction. They worry that interacting and learning new ways means they will lose their way own their path, that someone has to be "right," therefore making someone else "wrong," or that people interested in interspirituality are trying to reduce all ways to one way. Personally, I don't believe there is just one way for all people to believe, because humanity is just too diverse for that to be practical.
I've tried journaling by hand, but since I don't spend that much time offline, this made more sense. Not that I haven't also tried this method as well in the past, but one thing or another kept me from being able to journal to the extent to which I'd like. Now, I have a central theme, and I feel the time is right to embark on this again.
It's my intention to post prayers, liturgies, book reviews, and random bits of information as they come to me. Most of this information will be contained either in my future articles, in one of the classes I teach online for the Grove, and/or in a class series I hope to design for online students.
Interspirituality is a hot topic these days, but it has always been a part of my path since it blends beliefs and practices from Pagan and Non-Pagan sources. My hope is to design a series of classes that individuals from either area of belief can utilize, and to enable others that blend like myself, to have a form of spiritual home. With sixteen years of official practice at combining the two, I think I am in an ideal position to facilitate this form of interconnectedness.
